How to write an obituary
Writing an obituary is something many people only do once, often at a time when they are grieving and there are many practical decisions to make. An obituary does not need to be perfect, formal or long. It simply needs to announce the death, share some important details about the person’s life, and let people know about the funeral or memorial arrangements. This guide explains how to write an obituary step by step, including what to include, how to gather the right information, and how to make the words feel personal without becoming overwhelming.
What Is an Obituary, and How Is It Different From a Eulogy?
An obituary is a written notice that announces someone’s death. It usually includes a short account of their life, details of close family members, and information about the funeral, memorial service or wake.
A eulogy is different. A eulogy is spoken during the funeral service and is usually longer, more personal and more reflective. It may include stories, memories and details that would be too long for an obituary.
Obituaries are often published before the funeral so people know that someone has died and can find out how to attend the service or pay their respects. They may appear in a local newspaper, on a funeral home website, on an online tribute page, or sometimes on social media.
Most obituaries are only a few paragraphs long. Around 200 to 300 words is often enough, although the right length may depend on where the obituary is being published and how much space is available.
Who Usually Writes the Obituary?
An obituary is usually written by someone close to the person who has died, such as a family member, partner or close friend. In some families, one person gathers the facts while another adds the more personal details.
You do not have to write it alone. Funeral directors can often help write or shape an obituary using the information the family provides. This can be helpful if you are unsure where to start or feel overwhelmed by the task.
Some families ask a professional writer to help, especially if they want a longer obituary or tribute. In some cases, a person may have written part of their own obituary before they died, although this is less common.
There is no single right person to write an obituary. What matters most is that the information is accurate and that the tone feels respectful and true to the person being remembered.
What Families Often Struggle With, and How to Make It Easier
Many people worry that the hardest part of writing an obituary will be finding the right words. Often, the harder part is gathering the facts.
Dates, names and places can be surprisingly difficult to confirm when there is a lot happening. Before writing the obituary itself, it can help to collect the practical information in one place. This might include birth dates, places of birth, marriage details, family names, work history, military or service records, and funeral arrangements.
Names are especially important to check. Grandchildren, great-grandchildren, in-laws, stepchildren and partners may all need to be spelled correctly. It is better to check with someone directly than rely on memory.
Career details can also take time to confirm. Job titles, employer names, dates of service or voluntary roles may matter to friends, colleagues and extended family. Military or service history can also be important, including regiment, rank or where someone served.
The cause of death is optional. Some families include it, while others prefer not to. If you are thinking about including it, it is best to agree this with close family before publishing.
A useful starting point is to gather every factual detail into a simple one-page document before trying to write the obituary. Once the facts are clear, the writing often becomes easier.
What to Include in an Obituary, Step by Step
An obituary does not need to follow a strict formula, but a simple structure can make it easier to write. You can adapt the steps below depending on the person, the family and where the obituary will be published.
1. Announce the Death
Start with the person’s full name and the basic details of their death. This may include their age, date of death and, if appropriate, where they died.
You might use wording such as:
- Peacefully on [date], aged [age].
- Passed away on [date], surrounded by family.
- Died peacefully at home on [date].
- After a short illness, [name] passed away on [date].
You do not need to include the cause of death unless the family wants to. Some people choose phrases such as “after a short illness” or “peacefully”, while others keep this part very simple.
2. Tell Their Story
The life story section does not need to be a full biography. A few brief details can help people recognise the person and remember the shape of their life.
You might include:
- Where they were born or grew up
- Where they lived
- Their work, career or service
- Their family role
- Hobbies, interests or community involvement
- Personal qualities people will remember
- A small detail that feels especially like them
One specific detail can be more meaningful than a long list of achievements. For example, mentioning that someone “never missed a Manchester United match” or “was known for bringing homemade cakes to every family gathering” can make the obituary feel more personal and true.
3. List Close Family Members
Many obituaries include close family members. This may include the person’s spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings and others close to them.
Some obituaries use phrases such as “survived by” and “predeceased by”. Others use plainer wording, such as:
- Beloved wife of [name], mother to [names], and grandmother to [names].
- Much-loved husband, father, grandfather and friend.
- Predeceased by his wife [name], and dearly missed by his children and grandchildren.
There is no fixed rule about who must be included. Some families list immediate family only, while others include wider family members. The most important thing is to agree the list and check spellings before publishing.
4. Share Funeral or Memorial Details
If the obituary is being published before the funeral, include the practical details people need to know.
This may include:
- Date and time of the funeral
- Venue name and address
- Whether the service is open to all or family only
- Details of a wake or gathering afterwards
- Whether flowers are welcome
- Any charity donation request
- Livestream or online tribute details, if available
If the family would prefer donations instead of flowers, name the charity and explain how people can donate.
5. Choose a Photograph
If the publication or tribute page allows a photograph, choose one that clearly shows the person’s face.
A recent, well-lit photo is often best, but it does not need to be the newest picture if an older one feels more like them. A clear individual photo is usually better than a group photo that needs heavy cropping.
Try to choose a photograph that the family feels comfortable with and that reflects how the person would like to be remembered.
6. Proofread Before Publishing
Before sending the obituary to a newspaper, funeral director or online tribute page, take time to check it carefully.
Look at:
- Names and spellings
- Dates of birth and death
- Ages
- Places
- Funeral date, time and venue
- Charity names
- Family relationships
- Grammar and punctuation
It can help to ask one other family member to read through it before it is submitted. Once an obituary is printed, it may not be possible to change it.
Where to Publish an Obituary
Obituaries are now published in several different places. The best option may depend on who you want to reach, your budget and how much detail you want to include.
A local newspaper is a traditional choice, especially if the person was well known in the area. Printed notices are often charged by the line or word, and there may be strict limits on length. Many local newspaper obituaries also appear online.
A national newspaper is usually only used for public figures or people with a wide public profile.
A funeral home website or online tribute page can offer more flexibility. These pages may allow longer wording, photographs, guest messages, donation links and service details. They can also be easier to share with family and friends.
Online tribute services can combine the obituary with photos, memories, donations and messages of condolence.
Social media is sometimes used to share the news quickly, especially with wider friendship groups or community networks. Some families use social media as a first announcement, then publish a more formal obituary elsewhere.
Many families now use more than one option. For example, they may place a short notice in a local paper and share a longer tribute page online.
Two Example Obituaries
Examples can help you understand the tone, structure and level of detail that may feel right. These are fictional examples and can be adapted depending on your family, the person’s life and the information you want to include.
Example 1: A Short Obituary
BARNES, Margaret Ann, known to many as Maggie. Peacefully on 14 March 2026, aged 82, at home with her family. Beloved wife of the late John, mother to Sarah and Paul, grandmother to Tom, Lily and Rose, and a treasured friend to many. Margaret was born in Hartlepool, spent most of her life in Sheffield, and worked as a primary school teacher for forty years. Funeral service to be held at Hutcliffe Wood Crematorium, Sheffield, on Friday 28 March at 11.30am. Family flowers only. Donations, if desired, to Macmillan Cancer Support.
Example 2: A Longer Obituary
BARNES, Margaret Ann, known to many as Maggie, 1943 to 2026. Peacefully on 14 March 2026, at home with her family, after a short illness. Beloved wife of John, who died in 2019, much-loved mother of Sarah and Paul, devoted grandmother to Tom, Lily and Rose, and dear sister of David and the late Helen.
Born in Hartlepool, Maggie moved to Sheffield in 1968 and made it her home. She qualified as a primary school teacher in 1965 and spent forty years at Lydgate Junior School, where she was loved by generations of pupils for her warmth, her firmness, and her famous reading-corner story voices.
Outside the classroom, Maggie was a keen gardener, a determined bridge player, a devoted volunteer at her local Oxfam, and the unofficial cake-baker for every birthday in her road. She is remembered for her quiet kindness, her dry wit, and her belief that no problem could not be improved by a cup of tea.
A funeral service will be held at Hutcliffe Wood Crematorium, Sheffield, on Friday 28 March at 11.30am, followed by refreshments at the Greystones pub. All welcome. Family flowers only, please. Donations, if desired, to Macmillan Cancer Support, who cared for Maggie so kindly in her final weeks.
Writing an Obituary for a Close Family Member
Writing an obituary for a family member can feel especially difficult. Being close to someone does not always make the words easier to find. You may know so much about them that it is hard to decide what to include.
It is fine to write a rough version, walk away, and come back to it later. Many obituaries are written over a day or two rather than in one sitting.
If several family members want to contribute, it may help to agree the structure first. One person might gather the facts, another might write the personal section, and someone else might check names and dates. This can help avoid repeated edits or disagreements when emotions are already high.
A funeral director can also help draft the obituary if you provide the key information and a few personal details. You do not need to carry the whole task alone.
What People Often Regret Leaving Out
When an obituary is written quickly, small details can be missed. These are often the details that help people recognise the person and feel connected to the notice.
Nicknames are worth including if the person was widely known by one. For example, “Margaret Ann Barnes, known to many as Maggie” can help friends and neighbours recognise the notice.
Place of birth can also matter, even if the person moved away many years ago. Distant relatives and old friends may use it to confirm they have found the right person.
A maiden name may be helpful for the same reason, particularly where someone was known by a different name earlier in life.
Military or service history can be important to include if it mattered to the person or their wider family. This may include rank, regiment, branch of service or where they served.
One specific detail about personality can make the obituary feel much more personal. This could be a hobby, phrase, habit, favourite team, favourite place, or something people always associated with them.
You may also want to thank people who cared for the person in their final days, such as hospice staff, care home teams, nurses, doctors or neighbours. A short line of thanks can mean a lot to those who supported them.
Frequently Asked Questions About Writing Obituaries
What is a good example of an obituary?
A good obituary usually includes the person’s name, date of death, a short summary of their life, close family members and funeral details. It may also include a personal detail, such as a hobby, character trait or memory that helps people remember who they were.
How do you write an obituary message?
Start with the basic facts, then add a short account of the person’s life and family. Keep the wording clear and respectful. You might include where they were born, what they did, who they loved, how they will be remembered, and when the funeral will take place.
What is a good quote for an obituary?
A good quote is one that feels fitting for the person and the tone of the obituary. Some families choose a religious line, poem, song lyric or simple phrase such as “Forever in our hearts” or “Loved and remembered always.” A quote is optional and does not need to be included.
How do you write a heartfelt death announcement?
A heartfelt death announcement is clear, honest and personal. It might say that someone has died, mention how loved they were, and share one detail about their life or character. You do not need to use elaborate language. A simple sentence written with care can feel very meaningful.
How long does it take to write an obituary?
This can vary. Some families write an obituary in an hour once the facts are ready. Others take a day or two to gather information, speak with relatives and make sure the wording feels right. It can help to collect the factual details first, then write the personal section afterwards.
Do you have to include the cause of death?
No. You do not have to include the cause of death in an obituary. Some families choose to include it, while others prefer to keep it private. If you are considering including the cause of death, it is best to agree this with close family before publishing.
Where should an obituary be published in the UK?
Obituaries in the UK are often published in local newspapers, on funeral home websites, on online tribute pages or through funeral notice websites. Some families also share an announcement on social media. The right place depends on who you want to reach and how much detail you want to include.
Can a funeral director write the obituary for me?
Yes, many funeral directors can help write or shape an obituary. They may ask for key facts about the person, their family, funeral details and a few personal memories, then help turn this into a clear notice.
Summary
Writing an obituary can feel difficult, but it does not need to follow strict rules. Start by gathering the facts, then add a short account of the person’s life, close family members and funeral details. A few personal details can help the obituary feel warm and true, but it does not need to tell the whole story. The most important thing is that the obituary is accurate, respectful and helps people remember the person who has died.
