What happens to someone’s ashes after they’ve been cremated?

To answer some of the most commonly asked questions about the process, we sat down with Jason King, Head of Quality and Standards at the Westerleigh Group, a leading developer and operator of crematoria and cemeteries in the UK.

Responses provided in this interview are based on industry-wide practices, in line with the Federation of Burial & Cremation Authorities Code of Cremation Practice.

Will I receive the real ashes?

“Absolutely. The family will always receive the real ashes of their loved one. The correct identity of the person that died, from the moment the coffin is received at the crematorium to the respectful handling of their remains, is paramount and a robust identity process is followed throughout. This is a fundamental requirement of the Code of Cremation Practice which all crematoria strictly follow.”

Will the ashes I receive be ‘mixed’ with anyone else’s?

“All ashes are kept separately identified and are never mixed with anyone else. Each set of ashes is placed in its own container which clearly identifies the name of the person that died, their unique cremation number and the location, and date of the funeral.”

Is more than one person cremated at a time?

“Only one person is cremated at a time. The Code of Cremation practice dictates that each coffin is separately cremated, and cremators can only physically accommodate a single coffin. Once a cremation is completed the cremator is thoroughly cleaned, collecting all the remains of the person that died and keeping them separate from the following cremation.

There are rare occasions when two people may be cremated at the same time at the request of the bereaved, providing they’re in the same coffin. For example, a husband and wife.”

How long does it take to receive ashes after cremation?

“In most cases, the ashes are ready for collection the following day after the funeral. If a family have requested the ashes on the same day as the funeral this can also be done. However, the service will need to be earlier in the day to allow the cremation, then the cooling and processing of the ashes so they can be released.”

Are ashes scattered on the day of cremation?

“It’s very rare that ashes are scattered on the day of the cremation, unless a specific request has been made.

Ashes that are scattered without family present will take place after a short period of time, which offers the family time to reflect on their decision and provides an opportunity should they change their mind beforehand.”

Can I get ashes returned to my home address?

“The crematorium generally does not return ashes to a home address, although some funeral directors can and do arrange a delivery service.

In most cases, they are collected from the crematorium either by the family, funeral director or named representative. This will ensure the required legal checks on the identity of the applicant are carried out before releasing the ashes.”

Do you get ashes back in an urn?

“Most crematoria release ashes in a dignified cardboard box with the ashes contained inside within a paper bag. Identification labels are placed on both the box and inner bag. These boxes are bio-degradable which makes them suitable for burial. Each cemetery and church yard has their own requirements when it comes to suitable ashes containers, so we would advise speaking to your funeral director for more information.

Crematoria will gladly place the ashes into a casket, urn or other container if provided by the family or funeral director.”

Where can you scatter ashes?

“Ashes can be scattered almost anywhere with the permission from the landowner. Many people choose a garden of remembrance at the crematorium, while others may want the ashes scattered at home or in a place that was special to the person who died.

If you wish to scatter the ashes on public land such as a beach, park or woodland this will need to be carried out respectfully, so ashes are not visible to other public space users. If you want to scatter the ashes over public or other private land, you’ll need to request the permission from the landowner.

If the ashes are to be scattered at a different crematorium, churchyard or any other privately owned land then it is important to seek permission from the landowner and follow any specific regulations that may be in place.

The ashes come with a certificate, which can be presented, if requested, when asking permission to scatter ashes on public land. However, this is more common for when scattering on private land, such as at a crematorium, cemetery or football ground, for example.

Today there are other options available which includes scattering by drone or even ashes being sent into space to be scattered. Most crematoria will be able to advise you of the various options available.”

Can I scatter ashes abroad?

“Ashes can be taken abroad for scattering, such as a favourite holiday location or if they are being repatriated to be scattered on a family grave overseas. The family will need to enquire in advance on the requirements of taking ashes overseas. This will include the airline requirements for carrying ashes and the final scattering location if it is private land."

What happens if ashes are scattered in a garden of remembrance?

“Families often wish to be present when the ashes are scattered in the garden of remembrance. The ashes will be transferred into a special scattering urn which ensures the ashes are reverently scattered in a specific location. The family can scatter the ashes if they wish.”

If choosing to scatter ashes in the garden of remembrance, will this be done by us or a funeral director?

“In most cases, the crematorium staff will carry out the scattering of the ashes with the family present. Often a poem is recited by the staff member as the ashes are scattered. In other cases, the family will request the person who conducted the funeral service to be present to conduct a short service prior to the scattering in the gardens.”

How will I know when my loved one’s ashes have been scattered?

“Unless a specific date has been requested for the scattering of the ashes, the crematorium will normally do this at their convenience and after a short period of time has passed to allow the family to reconsider their decision. Once the ashes have been scattered, the date and location are entered into the cremation register as a permanent record.”

Other than scattering ashes, what other options are available? For example, memorial jewellery.

“There are many options available to families on what can be done with their loved one’s ashes. Many families still choose traditional options, such as scattering in the crematorium gardens, at home or in a beauty spot. Some families want a traditional stone memorial or a living memorial such as a tree or rose bush to mark the location.

However, some people choose to have ashes placed into memorial jewellery and more recently ashes can even be placed into memorial teddy bears, bespoke urns or even vinyl records.”

The responses to these questions were based on industry-wide practices and provided by Jason King, Head of Quality and Standards at Westerleigh Group.

When it comes to ashes, Co-op Funeralcare can help with everything from getting the right documentation in place to take ashes abroad, to separating ashes for you into memorial items. If you'd like more guidance on what to do with your loved one's ashes, please have a conversation with your local funeral director.