Ideas for what to write on a headstone

A headstone inscription is usually made up of a top line, the person’s name, date of birth and death, and a few short words to pay tribute to them. But how do you choose what those short words will be?

Read our guide on headstone inscriptions for ideas and inspiration.

Before you start

• Take your time – it can take up to 12 months after a burial before a headstone can be placed, so you’ve got plenty of time to think about what you want
• Share with family and friends – whether you want some help with what to say or reassurance that what you’ve written is OK, it's always good to talk to others before making the final decision
• Check for spelling/grammar and dates – headstone inscriptions are difficult and costly to change once they’ve been carved, so make sure that everything is spelled right before you sign off your headstone order

What to write on a headstone

What you can write will depend on the type of headstone or memorial you choose, but most have room for a top line, their name, their dates of birth and death, and some short personal words. An example of this would be:

                             In memory of

                            Joanne Smith

                  17th July 1930 – 14th October 2017

        Much-loved mother and grandmother. Forever in our hearts.

Ideas for headstone top lines

The most popular top line for a headstone or memorial is ‘In memory of’ but here are a few more examples that could help you decide the right one for you. Some examples are:

• In loving memory of
• In memoriam
• In remembrance of
• Rest in peace
• Here lies
• Reunited
• Together again

Ideas for headstone epitaph

After the top line, name and dates, the more personal words on a headstone or memorial are known as an epitaph. This is where you can add a tribute to your loved one by saying something about who they were or who loved them.

Here are some examples

• Much loved wife to John and mother to James and Daniel
• Loving husband and devoted father
• Beloved daughter, forever young, forever beautiful
• Always in our hearts
• Forever loved, forever missed
• Treasured by family and friends

Personal quotes for headstones

A headstone inscription with a well-known saying or quote is a lovely way to make a memorial unique. It could be a line from a song, a famous saying or something they may have been known for saying themselves.

• I did it my way, Frank Sinatra
• We’ll meet again, Vera Lynn
• All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players, from William Shakespeare's "As You Like It"
• Where there is love there is life, Mahatma Gandhi

Religious words for headstones

If your loved one was religious, having some words on their headstone from religious texts or songs could be a very fitting way to honour them.

• “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7
• “I am the resurrection and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead yet shall he lives.” John 11:25
• “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” John 14:6
• “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21
• “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” Acts 16:31
• “To Allah, we belong, and to him, we shall return.” Quaran 2:156

Short poems to put on a headstone

If there’s room on the headstone, you may want to include a short excerpt from a poem. It could be a poem that meant something to your loved one or something that you feel is fitting for them and what they were like in life.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

Funeral Blues by WH Auden

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest.

All is Well by Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away to the next room.

Are there rules about what can be written on a headstone?

There aren’t any rules about headstone inscriptions in non-religious cemeteries. If the inscription is respectful with no offensive language, it should be OK but it’s always best to check before the headstone is engraved.

Religious burial grounds can be stricter about what they will and won’t allow, and each will have their own guidelines for you to follow. It’s always best to speak with the religious leader before going ahead with an inscription, just to make sure it will be allowed.

Can I choose the words for my own headstone?

Yes, you can. If you know what you want your headstone to say, let your family know your wishes. Talk to them, write it down, or include it in your Will or funeral plan. Sometimes it can be difficult for family members to decide what to write on a headstone, so you may be saving them from extra worry when the time comes. Be mindful that some burial grounds have rules about what can written on a memorial.

Can a headstone be for more than one person?

Often headstones are bought for more than one person, for example, a couple who have a double burial plot. When the first person dies, their inscription is added to the headstone and space is left underneath for the second person. These types of headstones are sometimes known as Companion Headstones.

How much is a headstone?

There are a number of factors that will influence the price of a headstone. Things like material, design and installation will impact the final price, but generally speaking, the larger a headstone is, the more expensive it will be. As of 2023, Save Funeral Costs report the average price of an upright headstone – the most popular choice – ranging from £750 to upwards of £1,500.

Asking for advice

If you’d like some support with what to write on a headstone, your local Co-op funeral home will be able to help.