Feeling joy during a bereavement does not mean you’ve turned your back on or forgotten your loved one. Instead, it can be one way to celebrate their life and can even help with the grieving process.
Everyone experiences grief differently when a loved one dies – feelings of deep sadness or loss can often be met with moments of joy or happiness. These complex emotions can be difficult to navigate.
Some may feel like they shouldn’t have any happy times during a bereavement. Or, moments of happiness or laughter are immediately followed by guilty feelings, as if joy is somehow a betrayal of the loved one who has just died.
Finding joy during grief is not only possible, but can also help with the grieving process. Having mixed emotions can help with coping, whilst creating positive experiences may also offer some comfort during this difficult time.
There are many ways you can try to find joy again. Whether that’s celebrating the life of a loved one with friends and family, or finding new ways to be happy, like starting a new hobby or volunteering for a charity.
Everyone experiences grief differently and it may feel incredibly difficult to find a balance during a bereavement. One moment you could be overwhelmed with sadness, while the next, you could be sharing a laugh over a funny memory of your loved one.
Having mixed emotions is very common. In fact, feeling happy and sad may even help with coping with grief in the long term. Researchers have found that people who experienced feeling mixed emotions during a bereavement were more able to handle stress and adversity.
Feeling the ‘heaviness’ of grief without any relief or ‘lightness’ can be incredibly difficult. Experiencing humour, laughter and happiness doesn’t mean that grief goes away. Instead, it may work as a light distraction. The loss will always be with you, but experiencing moments of joy may offer just a bit of comfort during the grieving process.
Experiencing joy doesn’t means you’ve forgotten your loved one. Instead, happiness can be found by remembering and celebrating their life through activities they once enjoyed. Whether that’s sharing a memory with your family or going to a special event, there are many different ways you can honour a loved one.
Things you can do include:
● Gathering with friends and family to watch their favourite film together
● Visiting a place that was special to them such as their favourite park
● Making a donation to their favourite charity
With all its celebrations, Christmas can be a difficult time for anyone experiencing a bereavement. There are many unique ways to remember your loved one during the festive season, too.
Some people may decide to focus on themselves or to spend time with their family members. To help you get back into a routine after a loss, you may want to try something new.
Some ideas include:
● Taking up a new hobby like painting, baking or gardening
● Starting a physical activity like yoga or dancing
● Volunteering with a charity that’s close to your heart
● Journaling or creating a list of goals
Life after loss is never easy but while things will never be exactly the same again, it’s still okay to feel joy while you’re grieving. It's also fine if you don't feel any joyful moments. Everyone's grieving process is different and how you experience joy will reflect that.
We've partnered with Cruse to create useful videos and resources to support those going through a bereavement. If you or someone you know is grieving the loss of a loved one, download our guide for advice on how to provide the best help and support.
