What to expect when ordering a headstone
Buying a headstone is a unique and intensely emotional purchase which needs thought and care at what can be a very difficult time. Most people only ever consider buying a headstone when they need to and are unlikely to have any previous experience about the process of buying one. As such, the process of ordering one, what to look for, what questions to ask, how long it takes for one to be made, and how much one costs remain a relative unknown to many.
Below is a guide we’ve put together to help you find the perfect memorial for your loved one.
Set a budget
When making any large purchase it’s wise to set a budget – and buying a headstone is no different. Setting a budget gives you an idea of what you can comfortably afford without overspending and getting into debt. As of 2023, Save Funeral Costs report the average price of an upright headstone – the most popular choice – ranging from £750 to upwards of £1,500.
Generally speaking, the bigger the headstone, the more expensive it will be. But there are other factors that will influence price, such as material, design and installation. At Co-op Funeralcare, we understand that buying a headstone is a permanent and emotional decision. Making such a big decision whilst grieving can make it that bit more difficult and upsetting. Our colleagues will use their firsthand knowledge and practical experience to guide you through the entire process, helping you find the perfect tribute for your loved one within your budget.
Choose size, shape and material
Once you have a specific budget in mind, it’s a good idea to let the funeral director know so they can recommend something that will fit in with your price range. If you pass any cemetery one of the first things you’ll notice is the diversity in shape of the headstones. From heart and cross shaped headstones to traditional round top headstones, there is no ‘right’ shape to choose. What’s important is that your choice reflects the personality of your loved one.
When it comes to material, granite is the most popular choice due to how robust it is, but more traditional materials like marble, yorkstone and portland all remain popular choices.
Decide on a design
Just like any element of a funeral, personalisation is a big consideration when it comes to deciding on a headstone. Think about what you would like to say about your loved one. Headstone messaging usually mentions the relationships that person held, such as father, brother or friend, but there is no limit to how creative you can get. Everything from poems and Bible verses to illustrations and photographs can be added to a headstone if requested.
How long does it take to make a headstone?
A number of factors affect how long it can take to design and instal a headstone, such as delivery schedules, ground conditions, burial authority permission, and poor weather. So, if you’re looking for something more unique than exists on our website, please keep the following timeframes in mind*:
- For a completely unique headstone not found on our website – orders must be submitted approximately 6 months in advance
- For a headstone on our website but in a standard Plus colour – orders must be submitted approximately 5 months in advance
- For all Standard website items – orders must be submitted approximately 3 months in advance
- For any additional works or restoration services – orders must be submitted approximately 3-4 months in advance
Frequently asked questions
A headstone is a lasting tribute to a loved one that has died. It marks their final resting place, and the words on the headstone help to humanise them and tell their story. The importance of the decision, coupled with the fact that buying a headstone isn’t a common purchase, means it’s only natural to have questions.
Questions like:
Are there any rules that apply to headstones in the UK?
When a grave is purchased, a Deed of Grant is given to the registered grave owner. Only the person named on the Deed of Grant has the right to put a headstone on a grave, with the cemetery's permission.
There may also be restrictions on the type of memorial you can have in some cemeteries, as well as regulations on the height, width and thickness of the headstone. For definitive answers in your local area and help applying for the necessary permits, speak to your local funeral director.
How long do you have to wait before you put a headstone on a grave?
Local burial ground rules will state how long you have to wait before putting up a headstone, but it’s generally advised that you wait at least 6 months. This is for two reasons. Firstly, it allows the ground around the grave the time it needs to settle. Secondly, it gives you time to decide on what you want to put on the headstone. The words you choose will be permanent, so it’s important not to rush this decision.
However, the ground settlement period shouldn’t delay the ordering process, as a headstone can be designed and manufactured ready for installation as soon as the ground has settled.
What information can you put on a headstone?
As long as defamatory and offensive statements are avoided, there are no limitations on what can be written on a headstone. Certain cemeteries may have restrictions on what can be added to a grave in decoration, such as ornaments or vases for flowers. Headstones placed in churchyards may be under tighter restrictions, as this is usually done at the parish priest’s discretion. In any case, your local funeral director will be able to advise you on this.
Do headstones come with a warranty?
To give you complete peace of mind, all of our headstones come with a 10-year guarantee on the stone and fixing, as well as a 2-year guarantee on the lettering.
Can I amend a headstone once it’s been installed?
In short, yes. Headstones can be amended once they have been installed. In most cases, it is common practice for the headstone to be removed and renovated off site. However, if, for example, there is a risk that the headstone could be damaged or it is too large to move, it could in theory be amended on site.
Can I pre-order a headstone?
We don’t offer pre-paid plans for headstones, but you can still plan ahead in the same way that you would with a funeral. The best way to do this is to start talking about your funeral wishes now. Doing this will ensure that your family knows what you want when the time comes.
An alternative choice
Not everyone will want a headstone to mark their final resting place or have the money to spend on a headstone. For those looking for a possibly cheaper alternative, planting a memorial tree is an excellent idea, but this will have to be done in a dedicated memorial woodland or forest. A memorial or tribute tree acts as a symbol of lasting life, showing that your loved one’s memory will never die.
But remember, whether you choose to plant on public or private land, you’ll need to get the landowner’s permission first. Another thing to consider when planting a memorial tree is, if the tree is planted on private land and the owner decides to sell, the new owner may not allow you to visit.
If you want to know how to keep a headstone looking its best once you’ve bought one, read our guide.
*Please note – completion timeframes are estimates and subject to change due to third-party factors outside our control, including but not limited to, ground settlement, signed authority permissions, import delays and extreme weather.
